Ashton Inc. Est. whenever Headcount: 1

Hi, I'm Ashton

I like to make stuff.

This whole site is a company of one. I'm the founder, the engineering department, QA, and the reason everything ships late. There is no one else to blame.

Org chart · Fiscal year: ongoing

Meet the team.

When there's no budget for raises, you give out titles. I am extremely well-titled.

Not picturedUpper ManagementRides on the CEO's shoulders. Final say on everything.Reports to: nobody
AshtonFounder & CEOSets the vision. Ignores the roadmap.Reports to: Upper Management
  • AshtonCTOWrites the code. Blames the CEO.Reports to: Ashton (CEO)
    • AshtonQA DepartmentShips it, then finds out.Reports to: Ashton (CTO)
    • AshtonChief InternUnpaid. Unsupervised. Thriving.Reports to: Ashton (CTO)
  • AshtonHead of DesignGives every page its own font. On purpose.Reports to: Ashton (CEO)
    • AshtonCustomer SupportReads every ticket. Eventually.Reports to: Ashton (Head of Design)
    • AshtonExecutive JanitorCleans up after every deploy.Reports to: Ashton (Head of Design)
  • AshtonHead of ComedyCurrently under performance review.Reports to: Ashton (CEO)
Employees
1See above.
Venture capital raised
$0Nobody offered.
HR complaints filed
0HR is also me.
Revenue, this fiscal year

Revenue was $0 in every quarter.

$2$1$0Q1Q2Q3Q4

Help center

Frequently asked questions

  • Frequently Asked Questions.

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  • To synergize my core competencies with the market's lack of interest.

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  • Unclear.

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  • I do not sell products.

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  • Scope creep, mostly.

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  • Let me answer that with a question: is a junk drawer a filing system?

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  • No.

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  • A single point of failure.

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  • You already are. You're also speaking to the intern.

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Customer support · Dept. of me

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